真正能让婚姻幸福的是什么_市民英语

    all over the country today--valentine's day--men are down on bended knee proposing marriage. they will speak of love and affection and devotion. few, however, will mention what really matters: money.
    如今,各地的男人们都选择在情人节那天单膝下跪求婚,表达自己的爱意,以及愿意从一而终的决心。不过,很少有男人会在那个时刻说出真正主导婚姻幸福的东西:金钱。
    crass, maybe. but true nonetheless.
    俗了不是?也许吧,但这是事实。
    when you think about it, couples don't fight over love. they fight over money. they fight because one person didn't balance the checkbook or made a bone-headed investment without consulting the other. they fight because one partner exerts dictatorial control over the money, or because one has secretly amassed thousands of dollars in debt on a credit card, imperiling the couple's finances.
    不妨想一想,很多夫妻不会因为爱情而争吵,但会为了金钱而吵个不休,比如对方不能在生活上量入为出,或是没有征询自己的意见就做出愚蠢的投资决定,或是有一方在用钱上过于独断专行,或是一方偷偷积累了数千美元的信用卡债务,从而导致夫妻双方的财务吃紧,诸如此类,不一而足。
    whether the issues are big or small, money will prove a powerful force impacting your marriage -- sometimes overtly in the form of routine arguments; sometimes quietly as animosities seethe beneath the surface for years, only to explode into a potentially marriage-ending supernova.
    无论这些事情是大是小,金钱是影响婚姻关系的一个重要因素——有时导致夫妻经常性地公开吵闹,有时会让夫妻常年心生怨隙,虽然平时努力忍耐,但最终可能爆发出来,给婚姻划上一个终止符。
    what couples don't always grasp is that money is rarely the real culprit. it's the lack of communication, often stemming from a lack of knowledge about each other's personal financial quirks and beliefs.
    发生问题的夫妻不一定明白的是:金钱往往不是真正的问题所在,真正的问题在于缺乏沟通,而这多源于夫妻对彼此的理财习惯和观念缺乏了解。
    so, some time between "yes, i will marry you," and "i do," you and your partner need to have the money talk--the key questions all couples should ask of one another.
    因此,在说出“我想娶你”和“我愿意”这两句话之间的一段时间里,你和另一半应该启动有关金钱的谈话——这是每一对未婚夫妻都应该与另一半交流的话题。
    here are four of the more important questions to ask each other, since they provide insight and information on how money will flow through your marriage.
    下面列出其中最重要的四个问题,你能从中深入了解到金钱将如何影响你未来的婚姻生活。
    1. what are your assets and liabilities?
    问题一:你的资产和负债状况如何?
    this question is paramount because assets and liabilities are the basic building blocks of the financial life you'll live together. assets (banks accounts, investments, retirement plans and a house) help you strive for the life you want. the liabilities (a mortgage, credit-card debt, auto loans and leases) will hold you back.
    这个问题至关重要,因为资产负债状况是夫妻共同财务生活的基石所在。资产(银行存款、投资理财、退休和持有房产等)能让你过上自己想要的幸福生活,负债(住房抵押贷款、信用卡债务、汽车贷款和租车费用等)则把你往相反的方向拉。
    your goal is to pinpoint where you are financially as a couple so that you can map out where you want to go together. that could mean determining how much you want to save each month for retirement, or how much you want to put into an account for a new house, a new car or an annual vacation.
    你的目标是要准确了解双方共同的财务状况,这样才能规划出两人今后的奋斗目标,包括决定每月存多少钱用于退休生活,或者存多少钱来买一栋新房子、一辆新汽车或每年出去度一次假。
    it also could mean talking about how you each use debt and the amount of debt you each have -- and mapping out a plan to pay off as quickly as possible the combined debt you will have as a family.
    这个话题的交流还包括双方如何选择负债,以及负债的具体金额,并拟定一个计划,在尽可能短的时间里偿还双方组建家庭后的共同债务。
    the best way to approach this: present each other with a copy of your net-worth statement, a simple list of all your assets and liabilities. and voice no judgments. mocking a partner's choices will simply lead to future silence.
    讨论的最佳方式是:给对方一份自己的净价值表,简明扼要地列出你的资产和负债项目。记住,不要妄加评判,嘲笑对方的财务选择会直接切断双方未来的交流途径。
    2. what is your money history?
    问题二:你在金钱方面有什么经历和故事?
    what you experienced financially as a child--how your parents managed their bills, how they talked or yelled about money, what they taught you about saving and spending--has shaped who you are today.
    你童年时在金钱方面的经历将影响你日后对待金钱的方式,比如你父母如何管理日常开支,在用钱方面如何讨论或争吵,以及如何教你存钱和花钱之道等。
    problems arise in marriage because partners don't always see money from the same perspective. you might abhor debt for anything other than a mortgage, yet your spouse-to-be thinks nothing of putting lunch, groceries and the afternoon slurpee on a credit card, and then paying the minimum each month and allowing the balance to roll over.
    如果夫妻对待金钱的看法不一样,婚姻就会发生问题。你可能厌恶房贷之外的任何负债,而你未来的配偶却连吃中饭、买日常用品和饮料都要刷信用卡,然后每个月向银行支付最低还款额,让债务越滚越大。
    in talking to one another about how you each see money, you will begin to understand one another's money habits. that, in turn, will help you find a c

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