Man and Woman_幽默英语

                                                           

smart(精明的) man + smart woman = romance
smart man + dumb(愚蠢的) woman = pregnancy(怀孕)
dumb man + smart woman = affair
dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
smart boss + smart employee = profit
smart boss + dumb employee = production
dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
a successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
a successful woman is one who can find such a man.
to be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
to be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
married men lived longer than single man, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
a woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
a man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
a woman has the last word in any argument.
anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
there are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
women love cats.
men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
a woman will dress up to go shopping, empty the garbage, and get the mail.
a man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
women somehow deteriorate during the night.
a woman knows all about her children, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
a man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
any married man should forget his mistakes. there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.