Joke: The Bachelors Diet_英语愚人笑话
bachelor's diet
monday:
breakfast - who can eat breakfast on a monday? swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
lunch - send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. also order french fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
afternoon snack - drink the maalox
dinner - six pack of beer and kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.
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tuesday:
breakfast - eat the coleslaw
lunch - go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
dinner - four tacos and a pitcher of sangria at el flasho's.
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wednesday:
breakfast - jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at el flasho's
lunch - rolaids and a coke
dinner - drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps
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thursday:
breakfast - order out for pizza
lunch - your secretary is out sick, check mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
dinner - go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.
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friday:
breakfast - eggs, sausage, and an english muffin at mcdonalds. eat the styrofoam plate and leave the food. it tastes better and it's better for you.
lunch - skip lunch, fridays are murder
dinner - steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
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saturday:
breakfast - sleep through it.
lunch - ditto
dinner - steak, well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. dont eat the brussel sprouts. take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
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sunday:
breakfast - three bloody marys and half a twinkie.
lunch - eat lunch? waste a good buzz? dont eat lunch.
dinner - chicken noodle soup - call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.
monday:
breakfast - who can eat breakfast on a monday? swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth
lunch - send your secretary out for six "gutbombers" those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. also order french fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox.
afternoon snack - drink the maalox
dinner - six pack of beer and kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tuesday:
breakfast - eat the coleslaw
lunch - go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea.
dinner - four tacos and a pitcher of sangria at el flasho's.
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wednesday:
breakfast - jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night at el flasho's
lunch - rolaids and a coke
dinner - drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps
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thursday:
breakfast - order out for pizza
lunch - your secretary is out sick, check mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers.
dinner - go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives.
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friday:
breakfast - eggs, sausage, and an english muffin at mcdonalds. eat the styrofoam plate and leave the food. it tastes better and it's better for you.
lunch - skip lunch, fridays are murder
dinner - steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus.
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saturday:
breakfast - sleep through it.
lunch - ditto
dinner - steak, well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. dont eat the brussel sprouts. take them home and plant them in a hanging basket.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sunday:
breakfast - three bloody marys and half a twinkie.
lunch - eat lunch? waste a good buzz? dont eat lunch.
dinner - chicken noodle soup - call your mom and ask her about renting your old room.