女性英语 Womens English_幽默英语

你真的听懂了对方在说什么吗？有些时候潜台词和字面的意思正相反……

yes = no.

no = yes.

maybe = no.

i'm sorry = you'll be sorry.

we need = i want.

it's your decision = the correct decision should be obvious by now.

do what you want = you'll pay for this later.

we need to talk = i need to complain.

sure go ahead = i don't want you to.

i'm not upset = of course i'm upset, you moron!

you're so manly = you need a shave and you sweat a lot.

you're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

be romantic, turn out the lights = i have flabby thighs.

this kitchen is so inconvenient = i want a new house.

i want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.

hang the picture there = no, i mean hang it there!

i heard a noise = i noticed you were almost asleep.

do you love me? = i'm going to ask for something expensive.

how much do you love me? = i did something today you're really not going to like.

i'll be ready in a minute = kick off your shoes and find a good game on tv.

is my butt fat? = tell me i'm beautiful.

you have to learn to communicate = just agree with me.

are you listening to me!? =　too late, you're dead.

was that the baby? = why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

i'm not yelling! = yes i am yelling because i think this is important.

the same old thing = nothing.

nothing = everything.

everything = my pms is acting up.

nothing, really = it's just that you're such an asshole.