作文点评：V110抽象题材的写作--英语频道_出国考试

what is the reason for losing a variety of language and culture?

it is almost impossible to talk of the human civilization without mentioning the unique (significant/profound) roles played by various languages and cultures. however, partly because of the tendency of globalization, partly because of insufficient protection, languages and cultures are losing their diversity in many countries( there is a decrease in the diversity of languages and cultures in many countries.)

among countless factors which result in this changing, there is a(the) most significant one: the globalization. as we know, compared to the past, nowadays, different languages and cultures have more chances to influence and assimilate each other along with the globalization. consequently, prevailing languages and popular culture(s) gradually replace some minor dialects and traditional culture(s). for example, in china, it seems that mcdonald's and kfc are more attractive than many chinese snacks for teenagers. thus, when people study foreign languages and adopt (the)popular culture, it will weaken other languages and cultures at the same time.

the second aspect relates to lack of protection on the languages and cultures which are on the verge of extinction. it is no doubt that governments are responsible to deal with the problem. unfortunately, whenever the claim is raised, the governments of most nations argue that their limited budget should be invested on other more benefic fields, such as finance or industry. obviously, almost people did not realize that it will be a disaster for us to see the world's diverse languages and cultures disappear one by one.

in conclusion, there are still several reasons, which lead to losing a variety of languages and cultures, but the vital ones have been represented as above. facing（faced with） the severed situation（?）, it is high time that feasible measures should be implemented. （作者：sun yu）

赖评解：

得分：6+

这篇比较抽象，学术性较强，一般很难准确把握。语言和文化均属于人类社会的"大件"，其消亡应从大的方面去展开。比如说战争，有时整个民族都被消灭；还有，许多古老的文化是基于迷信的，接受过现代的新一代不再相信，以至这些文化无后继。再有，有些原始部落连文字都没有，一当对外开放，必定很容易接受现代文明，语言也随之而来。最后，我想提一点，作者没有把"同化"展开，想想看，一个大中国有56个民族，汉族占了98%的人口，其他的不被同化掉才怪。等等，这些都是非常specific的观点，也容易展开。

作者的语言功底很好，但其论述对题目支持乏力。例如，body1的example之后的感想为"削弱"（weaken），这与题目的"消亡"毕竟还是不同，属于"有点偏"型。body2则为"喊口号"型，无实质性内容，这也是许多过六级甚至八级的考生最后拿到成绩后不解为何写作得六分的主要原因。只要有好的ideas，或都能写得跟body1的前半部一样好，再加上与body内容有联系的conclusion，此作者的写作可获七分（无须提高语言表达能力）。

　

v110（a）范文及一点要求

赖劲松

尽管收到许多v110（a）的求改，但极少有考生真正完全理解题意，甚至有人推断中国人学会导致汉语的消失。现我把自己写的范文给大家参考，而且我是按“投考官所好”的"introduction---thesis statement,body--topic sentence+supporting sentences, conclusion----suggestion"这种结构来写的。这种写法对一般考生（5、6分者）来讲比较难，因为采用不少summary，仅做参考。(注：文章中的"se ethnic minorities"为中国畬族，用“she”容易引起误会，故用"se"。其实你也可以编一个）

version110

why are a variety of languages and cultures disappearing nowadays?

-----------discussion-----42+112+121+34=309 words in total------------

introduction: (42 words)

now the chance of experiencing different lifestyles or imitating to speak a few words of other languages for fun is slim due to the disappearance of some cultures and languages. i think that superstitious cultures and languages behind modern times cannot survive（thesis statement).

body1 (112words)

once i visited se ethnic minorities village, located on a hillside in south of china. to my disappointment, i did not feel a different thing about ethnic clothes, food or music. ridiculously, an old villager said that the forefather of his race had been an embodiment of a fairy with a dog head and a human body! the old generations have been proud of being the descendants of the fairy; however, generation y may feel ashamed of that because they know exactly this is a superstitious myth and to be a dog's descendants is not a glorious thing.apparently,the cultures basing on superstitious belief would be torn down by social progress(topic sentence).

body2(121words)

further more, a language without written methods may be replaced by advanced one(topic senten

  

ce). there are many parts of the world where people cannot write because they do not have their own written language. the only way they can preserve their history is to recount it as sagas handed down from one generation of storytellers to another. with the fast pace of globalization, international aid can be put forward to reach every corner of the world. those underdeveloped or isolated areas could receive food, medicine and education. the advanced civilization has pervaded into those primitive cultures hence they have started to learn writing something by the means of the available language accompanied with aid. therefore their original one would have disappeared.

conclusion (34words)

in conclusion, the disappearance of some cultures or languages is not worth preventing. this is an unavoidable outcome of the global economic growth. most importantly, people can enjoy more prosperity and social progress.